Being mama to a 2 year old means being up and awake when he is. Although I'm currently on night shift, I have to switch back to normal hours on my days off in order to keep up with the kiddo. So some days I am left wondering, "What day is it today? What was it I was going to get done today?"
Ok, perhaps not some days. More like most days. Today is definitely one of them- is this day 2? 3? 4?
No matter the number, here is my check in for the cleanse ....
Mind:
Presently, I'm a bit aggravated. Over the course of my marriage I've found that most of my attempts towards healthier habits have been chided by my husband, and if I've stuck to them long enough, they've often been sabotaged. I've finally reached a point where I have stuck with my habits for long enough, and gained enough knowledge to where the sabotage is less likely. Yes, there are always sodas, white breads, cakes, cookies, and assorted sweets in the house (much to my chagrin). However, it is a rare occasion that I will be tempted by these 'foods' anymore as I've found great (healthy!) alternatives, and also have the consequences of par-taking close in mind. The energy slump, the migraines, and overall dulled feelings are just not worth it for a processed sweet.
Alas, my husband is quite offended by my veggie habits. He prides himself on his mastery of cooking assorted meats and probably (I say probably because he will not admit to as much) harbors hurt feelings that I no longer enjoy his culinary endeavors. Therefore, he will not try any of my own veggie creations, and usually will mock them. Were it just the two of us, this would not be such an issue. Yes, I would still worry about his health as I do now - I love him, I want the best for him, I want him around for many years. Greater than this is the 3 foot monkey who wants to be just like Daddy. I have learned so much about the importance of nutrition for growth, immunity, and disease prevention. It's a big deal to me that my son eats well, and I see nutrition as the top way we can influence his current and future health.
So when Dad sits down to a high fat burger on a white bun and nothing else, and monkey sees, there is little consideration for the healthy meal mama presents. I had heated some SunBurgers - to be served on my little mans favorite whole wheat pita for him, and romaine for me - made some carrot-tomato catsup from Kate Wood's Raw Living (two of his favorite veggies), and steamed some broccoli for dipping.
Had it been just me and the little man, he would have tried most of it, and probably just used the broccoli as a vessel to get carroty-tomato goodness into his mouth, then dropped the spears on my plate. Instead, he grabbed a white bun and started eating it before I could even serve his meal, and that's pretty much all he was interested in eating. Monkey see, monkey do.
Thankfully, tonight my husband decided to at least spare the drama where he sits down to a plate of cookies and a glass of cow's milk as he usually does every night, both of which my little man cannot have. The processed cookies are a no-go (says Meanie Mama), especially before bedtime, and he's been off dairy for a while now due to tummy troubles and frequent ear infections. This leads to one unhappy little man when he tries to go and share. I do wonder what happens when I am not home, as I think there is a reason he gets so very upset when Daddy does not share.
Really, I have no idea how to deal with this situation. My husband is a grown man and is responsible for his own nutritional choices. He grew up with a body-builder father who instilled "protein is the most important food" into his head, and was also raised under the medical model that nutrition really isn't that important. I can understand the latter, as that is what I was taught in school. It was only until having my son that I started taking nutrition research seriously, and my eyes have been opened. When it comes to the health of my son, I have a hard time closing my eyes again.
Body:
I've been having green smoothies or juices in the afternoon when I wake for the day, usually followed by some fresh fruit. Yesterday I scored and found a carton of organic cherries at Wal-Mart - so delicious. For lunches at work I stick to a big salad and some sort of dried fruit/nut combo later on. I usually skip having a meal when I get home in the morning from work as I like to go to sleep straight away. On days off I'm enjoying trying raw soups and other creations such as zucchini lasagna or homemade spring rolls.
Today I'm lagging a bit in the exercise department. Rather than stay up and do a video, I'll probably try to get to sleep early so we can hit the gym in the morning. I just downloaded some high energy songs that I'm looking forward to enjoying on the treadmill.
Spirit:
I'm enjoying my quiet times and taking more time for reflection. This is desperately needed, as I've neglected my spiritual life for a while now. Just as I want to model health eating for my son, I want him to grow up with a Mama who is centered and grounded in her faith. I've started to feel a tugging for community recently, and realize this is another area where I have neglected myself. My rotating schedule makes it hard to join groups, but it's something I need to do. All or nothing are not the only two options.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Weighty Issues
My first day on the cleanse went well, and I had a rather slow night at work. I'm hoping for the same tonight, but we shall see.
This afternoon as I was getting up and ready for the day I realized that losing weight was not *the* motivating factor for this cleanse. The main idea is to improve my health, gain energy, wellness, and perspective. While losing weight would be nice, it's not the end all and be all. I decided that in celebration of my intentions, part of these three weeks will be staying off the scale.
While I'm slender right now, I've struggled with my weight for the past 5-6 years. Where I live and work (deep south, EMS) I'm even considered downright skinny. When I was small, up through high school I was actually quite thin, never minding what I ate. In the latter years of high school hormones, significant stressors, and food as comfort started changing my body. I started putting on the pounds and was fairly heavy by the end of freshman year of college. I can still clearly remember one jerk of a doctor looking incredulously at my chart during a check up at that time. He had just finished saying that I looked about 5 pounds overweight, then he flipped the page. "175?! 175?! Woah. You need a diet - just start giving up eating chips." I just sat there and looked at him thinking, "but I don't eat chips."
Since then I've been up and down, hanging around the mid 160s when eating poorly. After switching to a plant-based diet, I've stayed around the mid 140s. At 5'9, that's a good place, but with a small frame I could afford to ditch some fat and gain some muscle.
Mainly, I want to get off and stay off of the diet rollercoaster. I've tried: weight watcher's, atkins, south beach, nutrisystem, and medi-fast. Nothing has worked for the long term, and I've always been off put by the reliance on processed and packaged foods.
A whole food, plant-based, high raw lifestyle is what makes sense in terms of my long term health.
This afternoon as I was getting up and ready for the day I realized that losing weight was not *the* motivating factor for this cleanse. The main idea is to improve my health, gain energy, wellness, and perspective. While losing weight would be nice, it's not the end all and be all. I decided that in celebration of my intentions, part of these three weeks will be staying off the scale.
While I'm slender right now, I've struggled with my weight for the past 5-6 years. Where I live and work (deep south, EMS) I'm even considered downright skinny. When I was small, up through high school I was actually quite thin, never minding what I ate. In the latter years of high school hormones, significant stressors, and food as comfort started changing my body. I started putting on the pounds and was fairly heavy by the end of freshman year of college. I can still clearly remember one jerk of a doctor looking incredulously at my chart during a check up at that time. He had just finished saying that I looked about 5 pounds overweight, then he flipped the page. "175?! 175?! Woah. You need a diet - just start giving up eating chips." I just sat there and looked at him thinking, "but I don't eat chips."
Since then I've been up and down, hanging around the mid 160s when eating poorly. After switching to a plant-based diet, I've stayed around the mid 140s. At 5'9, that's a good place, but with a small frame I could afford to ditch some fat and gain some muscle.
Mainly, I want to get off and stay off of the diet rollercoaster. I've tried: weight watcher's, atkins, south beach, nutrisystem, and medi-fast. Nothing has worked for the long term, and I've always been off put by the reliance on processed and packaged foods.
A whole food, plant-based, high raw lifestyle is what makes sense in terms of my long term health.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Day One
It's after midnight, so the cleanse is officially on. I'm up and awake, with plans to get some laundry and cleaning done while my guys sleep. Ideally I'll fit in some quiet time and perhaps even a PM pilates video before hitting the sack around dawn.
Mind:
Goodness, what a mess. Thoughts swirling, emotions flaring, indecisiveness running amuk. The day was mostly even keel, but evening hit with the usual stressors - trying to prepare a healthy dinner while taking care of the kiddo, getting ready for the next day, feeling partnerless while the hubby sits and watches tv as I buzz about. I must admit to anger and impatience. I am at a loss as to how to communicate in any other way that I need some help in the evenings - turn off the violent cop show! feed the hungry toddler! participate in the family! Nothing doing, I realize that the change is going to need to come from me, whether I like it or not. I tend to procrastinate getting dinner started and wind up with a toddler who wants. mama. NOW. So a more stable routine is definitely in order. As is a more patient attitude.
Body:
Shared a vegan pizza with my little one for lunch today, and made some lovely veggie spring rolls for dinner tonight. To celebrate my new Vita-Mix I had made some tahini, and used that to make a tasty spicy dipping sauce for the rolls. I'm currently sitting down to a goji berry tea - just a few berries wrapped in cheeseclothe and steeped in hat water. Tastes lovely. I'll be saving the berries to add to my waking smoothie. The plan is ~ nap at dawn, wake up with the little monkey around 7ish and have a green juice. Back to bed around 9ish, wake again around 3pm. Waking smoothie of fresh aloe, valencia orange, and blueberry, then some fresh fruit as I head to work around 6:30. I'll pack a lunch and aim to eat it around midnight, some salad with avocado packed in my beloved tiffin. Perhaps a Larabar around 4am if I'm up and my tummy is rumbling, and lots of water between meals. When I arrive home around 8am the next morning I'll have some tea and head to bed. I have heard many people discuss how much improved their rest is when they do not eat directly before bed, and this is something that I'm going to test for myself.
As far as exercise, on days when I'm working I am not going to put pressure to squeeze anything in. When it's the first day back on night shift, I tend to wake up earlier and may go for a run or fit in a video, but I consider that a bonus.
Spirit:
Church today was great. I couldn't get us out of the door in time to make it to bible study, however. Worship was right on, and the sermon resonated with me. Tonight I would like to start a daily devotional using My Utmost for His Highest to jump off.
Mind:
Goodness, what a mess. Thoughts swirling, emotions flaring, indecisiveness running amuk. The day was mostly even keel, but evening hit with the usual stressors - trying to prepare a healthy dinner while taking care of the kiddo, getting ready for the next day, feeling partnerless while the hubby sits and watches tv as I buzz about. I must admit to anger and impatience. I am at a loss as to how to communicate in any other way that I need some help in the evenings - turn off the violent cop show! feed the hungry toddler! participate in the family! Nothing doing, I realize that the change is going to need to come from me, whether I like it or not. I tend to procrastinate getting dinner started and wind up with a toddler who wants. mama. NOW. So a more stable routine is definitely in order. As is a more patient attitude.
Body:
Shared a vegan pizza with my little one for lunch today, and made some lovely veggie spring rolls for dinner tonight. To celebrate my new Vita-Mix I had made some tahini, and used that to make a tasty spicy dipping sauce for the rolls. I'm currently sitting down to a goji berry tea - just a few berries wrapped in cheeseclothe and steeped in hat water. Tastes lovely. I'll be saving the berries to add to my waking smoothie. The plan is ~ nap at dawn, wake up with the little monkey around 7ish and have a green juice. Back to bed around 9ish, wake again around 3pm. Waking smoothie of fresh aloe, valencia orange, and blueberry, then some fresh fruit as I head to work around 6:30. I'll pack a lunch and aim to eat it around midnight, some salad with avocado packed in my beloved tiffin. Perhaps a Larabar around 4am if I'm up and my tummy is rumbling, and lots of water between meals. When I arrive home around 8am the next morning I'll have some tea and head to bed. I have heard many people discuss how much improved their rest is when they do not eat directly before bed, and this is something that I'm going to test for myself.
As far as exercise, on days when I'm working I am not going to put pressure to squeeze anything in. When it's the first day back on night shift, I tend to wake up earlier and may go for a run or fit in a video, but I consider that a bonus.
Spirit:
Church today was great. I couldn't get us out of the door in time to make it to bible study, however. Worship was right on, and the sermon resonated with me. Tonight I would like to start a daily devotional using My Utmost for His Highest to jump off.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
And so it begins ...
Good morning lovelies, it is 0220, my guys are sleeping peacefully and the house is quiet as I try to unwind. I always adapt quickly to the night shift schedule that I rotate through every four weeks, and tend to enjoy the alone time .... yet regret my night owl ways when I'm awoken by (a very cute) 2 year old early in the morning.
Over the past few months I've been changing and tweaking my diet and lifestyle in an attempt to move closer to a healthy, high raw, plant based diet. After soaking up lots of info via books and web, I've had it in my head to embark on a 21 day cleanse. A bit of Kathy Freston mixed with Kris Carr is what I'm going for - losing the "big five" (alcohol, gluten, refined sugar, meat/dairy, caffeine), bumping up the raw, adopting healthy habits. Already I rarely drink, and have mostly eliminated meat and dairy. I have also been victorious in dropping my coffee habit! Now the chocolate, breads, and sweets habit - not so much. They make vegan s'mores now, for goodness sake. My goal is to go raw for breakfast and lunch, and have dinner be 75:25 raw:cooked.
There are several healthy habits I'm looking to gain, and I'll be going into depth on some as I go along. They include: consistent exercise, daily quiet time, daily reflection/journaling, not eating before bed, and giving thought to food combinations. I do have more ideas, but am attempting not to put too much on my plate (literally and figuratively), and instead allow things to progress naturally.
While my intention is to gain optimal health, it is becoming very clear to me that I've been neglecting my emotional and spiritual health. I am wife, mother, daughter, sister, healthcare provider ... and yet am so out of touch with plain old me. A move away from friends and family, a stressful (yet equally wonderful) job, relationship stress, unresolved past issues, and one energetic toddler have thrown me a bit out of whack. In my single days, supressing emotions, self-destructive behavior, and work-a-holic-ism were my survival mechanisms. Now, it's time to move past that and start living as a whole person. I want to be balanced and present for the ones I love and so my path has lead me here.
Today will be Day Zero, a day to reflect on my goals and ease into the cleanse.
Mind:
My mind is swirling, and my reflex is to stomp it all down and find something to distract. Instead, I am attempting to allow the thoughts to flow and putting some down in writing.
Body:
Nutrition ~I am sitting in front of an empty bowl, one that was previously filled with NewmanO's. Yummy, non-dairy, and yet purely sugar. Natural refined sugar is still refined sugar! Today I will forgive myself if I do not eat as well as I would like. However, I have some beautiful produce in the fridge just begging to be juiced and chopped for a salad. Homemade spring rolls are the plan for dinner.
Exercise ~ this will probably hit the back burner, as I have piles of laundry and will most likely be using my son's nap time in order to rest, myself.
Spirit: Sunday! Time for some fellowship and worship. I've realized lately that I am really lacking in community, and so I am hoping to overcome any sleepies I may face in order to attend the pre-service bible study. Connecting with people on deeper level has never been a strong point for me. Very much an introvert I prefer few close confidants to large social circles. And yet, I am realizing that over the past couple of years I have pushed away even my close friends. Time to start chipping away at some of those walls.
Over the past few months I've been changing and tweaking my diet and lifestyle in an attempt to move closer to a healthy, high raw, plant based diet. After soaking up lots of info via books and web, I've had it in my head to embark on a 21 day cleanse. A bit of Kathy Freston mixed with Kris Carr is what I'm going for - losing the "big five" (alcohol, gluten, refined sugar, meat/dairy, caffeine), bumping up the raw, adopting healthy habits. Already I rarely drink, and have mostly eliminated meat and dairy. I have also been victorious in dropping my coffee habit! Now the chocolate, breads, and sweets habit - not so much. They make vegan s'mores now, for goodness sake. My goal is to go raw for breakfast and lunch, and have dinner be 75:25 raw:cooked.
There are several healthy habits I'm looking to gain, and I'll be going into depth on some as I go along. They include: consistent exercise, daily quiet time, daily reflection/journaling, not eating before bed, and giving thought to food combinations. I do have more ideas, but am attempting not to put too much on my plate (literally and figuratively), and instead allow things to progress naturally.
While my intention is to gain optimal health, it is becoming very clear to me that I've been neglecting my emotional and spiritual health. I am wife, mother, daughter, sister, healthcare provider ... and yet am so out of touch with plain old me. A move away from friends and family, a stressful (yet equally wonderful) job, relationship stress, unresolved past issues, and one energetic toddler have thrown me a bit out of whack. In my single days, supressing emotions, self-destructive behavior, and work-a-holic-ism were my survival mechanisms. Now, it's time to move past that and start living as a whole person. I want to be balanced and present for the ones I love and so my path has lead me here.
Today will be Day Zero, a day to reflect on my goals and ease into the cleanse.
Mind:
My mind is swirling, and my reflex is to stomp it all down and find something to distract. Instead, I am attempting to allow the thoughts to flow and putting some down in writing.
Body:
Nutrition ~I am sitting in front of an empty bowl, one that was previously filled with NewmanO's. Yummy, non-dairy, and yet purely sugar. Natural refined sugar is still refined sugar! Today I will forgive myself if I do not eat as well as I would like. However, I have some beautiful produce in the fridge just begging to be juiced and chopped for a salad. Homemade spring rolls are the plan for dinner.
Exercise ~ this will probably hit the back burner, as I have piles of laundry and will most likely be using my son's nap time in order to rest, myself.
Spirit: Sunday! Time for some fellowship and worship. I've realized lately that I am really lacking in community, and so I am hoping to overcome any sleepies I may face in order to attend the pre-service bible study. Connecting with people on deeper level has never been a strong point for me. Very much an introvert I prefer few close confidants to large social circles. And yet, I am realizing that over the past couple of years I have pushed away even my close friends. Time to start chipping away at some of those walls.
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